Embracing the New: Moving forward with Confidence
Posted: May 20, 2014 by Jason S. Arnold
Embracing the New: Moving forward with Confidence
Have parents stopped calling the shots?
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Parenting styles have changed dramatically over the last 30 years. We’re clearly no longer living in a “because I said so” kind of world. Rather, societal changes have produced a more collaborative parenting approach than the authoritarian styles of the past. As a society, we’ve become more respectful, cooperative and open to new ideas.
But have we shifted too far and created a new parenting order? Have parents stopped calling the shots and in doing so, designated their children their family’s “Chief Purchasing Officer?”
It’s completely natural for parents to want what’s best for their children, but part of being a parent is knowing that what’s best for a child in the short term may not be what’s best for a child in the long term. Parents exercise this judgment every time they remind their children that ice cream is not an appropriate substitute for dinner, or that it’s time to go to bed after a fun day.
When making decisions for their family, it’s critical that parents not to lose sight of the big picture, especially when it comes to making major life decisions like whether or not to move to a new house.
So what does this shift to more child-centric decision making mean for modern families? When it comes to figuring out whether or not you’ve outgrown the family home or have the opportunity to relocate for a great job, remember that adult decisions should be made by the adults in the house. Consider the long-term impact a move would have on the family. Perhaps it’s a space issue. The kids are fighting about sharing a room, or maybe that dream job has finally come through and could open a lot of doors.
Change is scary for everyone, but it’s important for parents to be balanced when making major decisions, such as whether or not it’s time to move to a new home. This means weighing all the pros and cons for the short term and the long term. Most children don’t have the ability to accurately assess short-term discomforts against long-term opportunities, and this is where the parents can step in. The best changes in life often occur when we use our head, our hearts and then follow our instincts.
Because change can bring a lot of intense and uncomfortable emotions, we often forget how good it can be for both parents and children. Parents who embrace their fears are often struck by how well their children adapt and how positive change can be. While switching schools or neighborhoods may feel difficult at first, these changes can help children learn how to adapt to the larger changes they’ll experience in life.
One of the best ways to help children feel more comfortable and confident about the family moving is to make sure they feel involved and supported. Sit down and talk to your children about why you made the decision to buy a new home. Point out all of the positives they can look forward to, and help them embrace the excitement while simultaneously showing you understand their concerns. The summer is often the perfect time to make this transition. Kids are out of school, which makes a move feel easier and less disruptive.
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Taking kids to visit a new neighborhood or community before making a move can also have lots of benefits. It helps kids get excited about their new home, and it’s a great opportunity to meet other parents and children in the area.
Moving is a process of letting go of the old life while reaching for the new. Developing some “change confidence” allows parents to know they’re making the right choice for themselves and their family. And what could be better than that?
